Ego vs. Self-Esteem

I am a fortunate man, I have a swimming pool. One recent windless morning I dove in, the surface perfectly still. Underneath, I began to rise ahead of my wake. Opening my eyes. I could see almost nothing of the outside world; however, I could clearly see the reflection of my hands and arms on […]

Sucking Hole

I heard it said not long ago that it’s my duty to make recovery attractive. That impacted me on a number of levels. I have a great life, I really do. Working with families, people in early recovery or those who still suffer is a poignant reminder to me of how good my life is. […]

Antidote

Recovery. For me is less about learning how to be a better person and more about letting go of the things that keep me from my Higher Power. There’s a saying in my program, “We’re not bad people trying to get good, we’re sick people trying to get well.” That rings true for me. Although, […]

Work kept cutting into my alcohol abuse!

Work kept cutting into my alcohol abuse. I didn’t really have much going on in my life, other than drinking, and work. For a long time, I was pretty good at both. I never lost a job or even got in trouble due to my drinking until I tried to get sober and slipped… lol. […]

Ill Equipped

I can do a lot of stuff. I’ve learned how to do a lot of stuff and I’ve taught myself to do a lot of stuff. If I decide to get something done, more often than not, it gets done. I set fairly high standards for myself and typically live up to them. I don’t […]

More, more, more!

I’m a construction guy. In construction, the more you’re able to produce the better you are. Any time spent not producing is wasted time. I was taught early on to “Hurry every chance you get,” and “Blow and go.” It’s actually why I was well suited to construction, and vice versa. In fact, it’s indicative […]

In Service of Gratitude

I was recently reminded by a friend how cunning and baffling this disease is. Specifically, how easy it is to forget what works. To stop using the tools that work. It’s easy to forget I need them. To remember how bad it was. To remember to notice how good it is. To continue with this […]

Covid

COVID. What a trip this 2020-21 period has been. Tragic, and great. Frightening and peaceful. Enriching and sad beyond measure. My recovery has given me the peace of mind to not make a mess of this unfortunate time. That’s a blessing I cannot put into words. How profoundly gratifying is the knowledge that, during this […]

Gratitude Muscle

Drinking was hard work, in the end. It wasn’t always that way. My drinking started out as an escape… it was relaxing and fun. I had too much fun drinking and I knew it, pretty early on. I knew there was alcoholism in my family and that the way I loved being loaded was a […]

Slip

A friend of mine just got sober again after a brief slip. It didn’t last too long, but it did get ugly. Of course it did. We tend to quickly pick up right where we left off, without the tolerance that years of substance abuse gave us. But for him, worse still were the feelings […]

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